My very own miracle : Elsa Kolinyedcia Sina Akiko.
My joy and most prized possesion my daughter when she was almost a month old.
Imagine going through your adult life thinking that you will never hold a baby of your own, in your arms.That you will never be able to look into those trusting little eyes and see your own face smiling back at you (a miniature version though) Consider how difficult it is to come to the realization that perhaps you will never share the joy and heartaches that only a mother can! That you will never know how it feels like to be loved by a tiny little person that belongs to you and came from you.. a small and fragile being brought forth into the world by your love/ lust or whatever it was you may have had going in between (har har..) but seriously I can relate to every heart breaking story by every woman who has had to endure years of trying to conceive. Of childless couples whose lives are torn apart by a void they are unable to fill on their own.
(Working the camera already at one month old..what a lil' poser!!**)
I have tasted the bitterness of their tears, can sympathize with their pain, and know all too well the burning unanswered questions they carry with them.Why us? What went wrong? What can we do? Is there anything that can be done? Would we still be ok if we were to adopt a child indtead? the list is infinite.. I can relate because I used to be in that very place. I have walked in their shoes and have lived with the disappointment. I have felt the same immense sense of longing only to have your heart die bit by bit with the passing of every menstrual cycle. The hopes of ever being called "mommy" fading with the closing of each year.
I have many nephews and nieces and I love them all equally but a part of me used to cry a little every time I see the flicker of pride in their parents eyes or the way they would hold them close. It was hard at times thinking that I would never be able to experience the feel of little arms around my neck wanting to be comforted. That I would never be able to see what my own child would look like, what they would want to be when they grow up. That I will never be able to have that bond that happens only between child and parent that I will miss out on all the great things that parents and their children do and share together.
Elsa at 4 months, the hair starts to curl up @ 6 months & it has been Bob Marley dreads eversince..lol
I never gave up beliving that one day I too would be part of this great circle called Motherhood.. joining this elite group of under appreciated and over worked class of women. Despite numerous false alarms I knew that God would give me my own miracle in his own time. I also made a promise to myself that if he were to grant me my hearts deepest desire I would endeavor to be the best mother I can possibly be. To take in all that came with the position with miminum complaints ..lol.
I have been around enough children to know that there would be tons of diaper changes, early morning feedings, late night lullabys, stressful afternoons, hospital visits, countless baths as well as the whole pregnancy process itself but I was up for it.I was more than ready just waiting for it all to happen. At that point in life I would have gladly walked through a ring of fire if that's what I had to do to get my own baby (Luckily it never came to that..wheww!!!)
But when it finally happened instead of being estatic I was a little panicky. I was extremely grateful to God but was also a little scared and it took a while for everything to sink it. I was in a foreign country couldn't speak the language, without my partner, away from my family and was supposed to be studying on top of that but what the hey..I hung in there and with the Lord's help everything turned out really well. I did not tell anyone immediately except for the baby's father of course I guess I was kinda afraid I might jinx it so until I was 100% sure (Well its a little difficult to keep it under covers coming into my 6th month he he) I finally let a few of my friends in on my BIG SECRET ..lol and because I didn't look or behaved like a pregnant person (how are they supposed to look n behave again he!he!)even they had trouble coming to grips with my "happy news"
Elsa 2yrs old and a handful already oh muh Lord..!!
Looking back at it now I thank the Lord for his magnanimous blessings upon me. I probably had the easiest pregnancy in the entire history of pregnant women (ok maybe the comparison is a bit far fetched)but I had a great time, morning sickness was no problem..the leg cramps were few n far in between.
The only slight trouble I had was trying to follow the doctor's orders "to stay off the sodas and fatty food" which was a strenuous challenge at the time. Kato Sensei's In HoUsE AsSiStAnTs Patricia, Nydia & Koyu of course were always on hand to make sure I was adhering to the good ole doc's advice. I still laugh when I recall these times.
Name:Elsa Kolinyedcia Sina Malolo Aumua
Born: 5:00pm Friday November 7th, 2003.
Place: Kokuritu National Hospital Kamegawa, Beppu.
Prefecture: Oita -Kyushu
My little girl had a little trouble during delivery as she was such a big baby but thank goodness for the great Japanese doctors and perky nurses she was well taken care of..Ten little toes and fingers, a full head of hair and a scream that almost brought the hospital roof down.. Yup yup Miss Elsa Kolinyedcia Sina had definately arrived and was letting the whole of Kokuritsu Byoin know about it. It was unbelievable..Totally outta this world. The 12 hour labor I could have done without but other than that it is a special memory I will cherish forever. ****"My golden Rose :I can't bear the thought of life without my baby girl and I can barely remember how things were before her"****